Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
