tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
