I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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