They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
