id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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