I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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