I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize