Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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