Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
