First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
