Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
