he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
