her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
