This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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