Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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