As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
