You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
