North Korea, Best Korea!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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