Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
