i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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