am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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