how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
