You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
