There is no way he is gay with that hair.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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