i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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