You're my little dorito
I'm really into asian looking animals
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
