you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize