Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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