Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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