I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize