Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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