I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
