you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
