On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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