Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize