Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
