Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize