Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
