I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
