Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
