Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize