I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
