i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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