I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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