The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
