she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
