he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize