is your mom at the bar?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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