I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I can feel your judgement through the phone
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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