He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
