Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
