Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
