Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
