singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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