margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
