I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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