It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
