The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
