shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
two words...techno handjob
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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