Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
