it was like eating out sand paper
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize