Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
